Ladies and gentlemen! Fluffy Mundel's Lying Circus proudly presents, David "Trapeze Man" Torrance!
Watch with barely suppressed ennui as, resplendent in his smug-spangled leotard, he swings in graceless arcs between clumsily contrived name-dropping and ill-informed commentary!
Gaze in perplexed wonderment as he turns intellect-defying somersaults of illogic in mid-air while flitting from dull incomprehension to clunking misrepresentation and back again!
Hands dusted with the rosin of self-righteousness the better to grip his prejudices, David performs his tired old routine for an eager audience of adoringly uncritical hard-core unionists.
He can, of course, afford to be both bold and inept. He has the safety net of the British media to ensure that he won't ever land on his arse in the sawdust and elephant shite of reality.